Unity in most marriages is broken because many couples today enter the system with high expectations. When these expectations are not met or seen in the union, it gives birth to disappointment and frustration in the marriage.
After God made man, He saw a need in a man. God performed the most remarkable surgery by causing a deep sleep on Adam, and He made a woman from him. The need for a companion and helper for man became a reality. And God automatically wheeled strength and authority to the man as the head of the family.
We all have distinct identities, purposes, callings, and talents as individuals, and marriage is not to rip us off what identifies us.
Healthy marriages are those in which both parties maintain separate identities and purposes as they unite under the shared purpose of fulfilling the dominion rule of God in and through their partnership.
Unfortunately, many have changed God’s marriage narrative and gone with their ideology, tradition, and culture.
Many marriage books and seminars are written and organised by marriage coaches, and every book and seminar is uniquely different.
Do you know why?
You can never have the same marriage anywhere. Every marriage is unique.
When you try to copy another by implementing everything you read or were told to do without understanding and appreciating your spouse’s individuality, the outcome will surely be a disunited team.
Every girl who enjoyed or still enjoying her father’s love, care, support and protection constantly desires to marry someone like her Dad.
Oh yeah! I was in that category. I will always tell my Dad and Mum that I want to marry someone like him. It even became my prayer point during my single days.
Praise God! He gave me the complete package I so prayed for and even more. But the truth remains I was my father’s daughter and not his wife, so I never knew the areas of help my mom rendered to him and also the companionship they both enjoyed.
Being married to my husband, the wisdom, ideas, counsels, techniques, etc., used by my mum in her marriage, none may be played by me in my marriage. My father and my husband are both unique, with different assignments, purposes, talents, callings, ideas, plans, upbringing, etc., and their life experiences are also different.
Comparing my dad and my husband will be outright foolishness on my path. It behoves me to know my responsibilities to him as his companion and helper.
You can only know and play your responsibilities well as a spouse through understanding, humility, and prayer.
This applies to every Godly marriage that seeks to enjoy marital bliss.
You will struggle in your marriage without understanding, humility, and dependence on God.
- Understanding your spouse is an important ingredient in marriage. You cannot understand who you aren’t patient with, so you must be patient. Understanding creates an atmosphere of love, trust, and freedom through which couples can fulfil their purpose. Dreams can be realised, purpose can be fulfilled, and talents can be utilised within the boundaries of marriage.
- No blissful marriage has ever succeeded or will succeed without humility. Humility is sacrificing your desires, interest, time, attention, etc.
Indeed, pride has been the downfall of many, and marriages are not left out. Marriages have been wrecked because of the lack of humility. Accepting wrongs and apologising is a hard nut to crack for most couples.
Proud couples ruin not only their marriage but their lives too.
- No one knows and understands your spouse and you better than God. He has the individual key to everyone.
Most broken marriages today should have been saved if only the spouses ran to report to God more often than they ran to their parents, pastors, psychologists, friends, and mentors.
You must learn to run to God without excuse or delay and be prompt to whatever He will have you do.
God is much more interested in your marriage than you are and is ever willing to give you the unity you seek.
You struggle because you ignore your marriage code.