My Husband and My Husband

Ugghh.. Thank you Jesus! We both exclaimed as we fell on the enticing white and red floral designed bed. It was our wedding night and we had just returned from the reception venue and I’d say that every stress was worth it. The joy and love we saw all over friends and fans present, did actually lit the day.

Seyi, my husband’s friend had made arrangements for friends and families to get lodged in a hotel close by. Tony and I were all alone in the newly furnished apartment he had gotten a month before our wedding.

C’mon honey to the bathroom, I said as I pulled him up and we both had a warm bath and trust me it was amazing. I had longed for this day to come. Life began and we were both living fine and soon after we were blessed with an adorable little princess. We watched her grow under our love and she was amazing.

God has been so good to my marriage. We often had little arguments but it has never ended badly. Tony my husband was in all sense the best husband to me and the best father to our baby. Our baby had just completed four, and I was really excited she was growing so fast but I noticed I was battling with some undefined dissatisfaction within me.

Tony had always played his roles perfectly, even inside the bedroom, but unlike other times after the wonderful nights in his arms, I still felt so empty. Is Tony doing something bad and my instinct is trying to let me know? I reasoned but couldn’t take that thought in. What’s going on? I asked severally without answers. I was so burdened that I took a day off from work on that Friday.

Tony had just left for work with Treasure, our daughter who he would drop at school. I went into the bedroom, paced up for a while trying to figure out what was happening. Soon I knelt beside my bed and sincerely made some prayers to God. I explained the emptiness I felt and asked him to take control of my family. Mind you, my greatest fear was losing Tony, my husband. I always want to have him around and with me. We did a lot together: played, went for walks, movies, took Treasure to parks and everything was with him.

God, what is going on in my home? Why do I feel this emptiness and dissatisfaction? Why do I feel that all is not well? Remember this marriage started with you and… I was about uttering the next word when I heard a voice ask me “and where is my place in the marriage now?” I paused in amazement and he further said “Lizzy, get up and move to the lawn.” In less than a minute I was at the lawn, jittering. I could feel the gentle breeze and the serene surrounding.

“Lizzy five years ago were you married to Tony?” He asked. “No”, I replied. “Can you recall the event that took place on the 17th day of September in the year 2000?” He continued. On hearing that date, there were smiles all over my face and my heart did pop with Joy. It was the day I said Yes to the Lord. The day I surrendered all my will and choices to you, the day I opted to be with You forever.

 “So I ask again, where is my place in your home now?” He asked. At that moment I was caught up with so much conviction as to what he meant. My countenance dropped as I recalled every single event that must have brought about this question.

I was having so much fun with family and wouldn’t want to miss the moment, without noticing that it robbed me totally of giving Him time too.

Covenant nights with God were replaced with being in Tony’s arms and cuddling; quiet times were replaced with chats with Tony; some evening services and evangelisms I replaced with planning surprise dinner nights for Tony. Even when Tony was away, it would be all about Treasure. I realized that I actually dumped God a long time ago. I wasn’t carrying Him along in the affairs of my home. At this point, my head was bowed in shame.

“My dear Lizzy, you must not forget that you first said Yes to Me before you said to Tony and I gave you Tony as a reward for your faithfulness and not as an object of backsliding”?

“You couldn’t have gotten maximum satisfaction with a one sided attention. Tony has what he alone can give to you and I have that which no one else but I can give to you.

When you take away God from your home, you have a house(an empty structure). This is the reason you have been momentarily pleased and satisfied”, He continued.

Dear women,

Remember you are God’s own structure, crafted specially to build a home and not to raise a house. This is your prerogative, but importantly, you mustn’t forget that you can’t achieve it successfully without God.

Dumping God half way in your marriage is like a ship losing its compass in the middle of the sea.

Never wax fat and forsake God like Jeshurun. If you involved Him at the beginning, endeavor to carry Him along throughout your journey. You cannot handle your Tony all by yourself, not even that little Treasure when the time comes.

Remember He was first your husband before your husband became yours, if at all you’ve said Yes. He’s not God of the bad days alone but also of the good times.

Why should getting married, children and even luxury come in your way with God? Never let the blessings of God be an object of condemnation. Play your roles well.

In the midst of the love cruise let His place and role in the family never be ignored.

You must fulfill your role as a bride and as a wife- as the bride of Christ and as the wife to Tony.

Remember, after your marriage here is ended, you remain forever the bride of Christ. Be married and truly married, then shall you experience true and complete satisfaction. Isaiah 3:14.

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