While we talked, he said ‘at that time I didn’t have anything to call my own, except talking to people about God. That was the only thing that made me feel useful and that was why I was eager to do it, so that I can feel useful because I felt useless.’
You see we all love that sense of belonging. We hate to feel left out or valueless. When we do a thing and it makes us feel useful or accepted, it makes us repeat that action over and over again.
Feeling useful is like the reward we get for doing a particular thing or being in a particular way.
But there is a catch there. It is not the same thing that makes everyone of us feel useful, it differs for everyone and the possibilities are endless.
It could be the virtues we have; eg, kindness, courage or leadership qualities.
It could be our skills, speaking, creativity, etc
It could be our position in life that makes us feel useful
It could be our material possession.
It could be our apperance; how we look
It could be a positive or negative thing.
It becomes wrong when what makes you feel useful are things that are fleeting, like your position in life or the material things you have………or even your appearance.
This is because we unconsciously build our lives, beliefs and comfort around those things that make us feel relevant. So you see why those things should actually be long lasting? Imagine building your relevance on your possession only for them to be taken away from you, or your beauty only to encounter some kind of accident that will leave you physically deformed. At that time, life becomes so useless that you don’t find a reason to keep on living.
Another danger is this; because of the instability surrounding those things, you would never feel secure, but always be hypersensitive because you fear it can be taken away any moment, and so you will never have peace of mind. And you can do anything to protect what you have, even irrational and unacceptable things. You move into certain habits or lifestyle which will help you preserve these things…while destroying your life.
You lose your sense of worth when you find another person who has more than you, since your value system is so common, there will be people with more beauty, position,possession, etc and this will constantly make you feel useless or competitive. Life will become an endless cycle of unnecessary competition.
……to be continued…

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