Out of the Box

For me, the true definition of ‘out of the box’ was freedom, independence, maturity, and the beginning of confidence until life taught me a lesson I have to pass on to generations.

I was born into a Christian home and my parents did their best in giving my siblings and I comfortable lives. They worked so hard to ensure our needs were met. I was supposed to be satisfied yeah, but my eye wasn’t single. We were allowed to watch specific television programs, make our choices of dress, and go out as a family. We usually spent our weekends with family and those were treasured moments.

We had more than enough time to pray and study. That was the routine we grew up with. My parents would punish us if they met us playing with other children, their reason was that they would corrupt us, haha. All they wanted was to raise godly and responsible adults. I always thought within me that we were treated like little children even though I was about to leave high school at the time. Other of my friends were left to do a lot of things on their own but for me, my parents always came in.

Years rolled and I left high school and was enrolled in the university. On the night before I left for college, my parents sat me down as usual and spoke to me. All I wanted was for the day to break so I can spend at least one night outside of my parents. I was choking being under strict supervision, I felt like I was in a box.

Right in the university, I saw my friends explore life and they would always talk about how they were having fun. “Having fun wouldn’t be bad for me” I said to myself, but I thought about how my parents would feel. Whenever I wanted to go out with my friends, I remembered my parents, and I would decline and give an excuse that I wasn’t feeling well because they already started calling me mummy’s girl. How much I hate to hear that!  It didn’t take time and that feeling fizzled out, then I thought to myself that it was time to explore!

I started missing campus fellowships,  hanging out with friends, and returning late at night. We went to the movies and sometimes return to the campus at 3am. I began avoiding my fellowship brethren and my pastor.

I had the opportunity to experience a lot, I became aware of certain realities in the world which I never knew existed.

But soon, everything faded and I realized how much I had lost in getting out of the box. The once brilliant Becky started failing courses, I was no longer satisfied with what my parents gave me, I craved for more and of course, knew how to get them. Most of the time I left my campus to Abuja, the capital of Nigeria where I meet with men old enough to be my father. They gave me a lot of money in exchange for my body. I visited the homeless and gave my parents the excuse of school being so stressful. They were obviously proud of their daughter but I had gone beyond what they knew.

It didn’t take time I noticed an unusual weakness and sleepiness. I missed my period but didn’t care because it already was normal for me since some of the medicines I took usually withheld my flow. The changes became obvious, I went to the hospital, and I was pregnant. I didn’t take time to abort it. According to the medical doctor, I had multiple injuries to my uterus and he advised I removed it. Of course, I didn’t want to die so I had my uterus removed. I healed within a month but the internal scars stared at me every second. No one knew I removed my uterus, not even my parents.  My parents came to visit me and I couldn’t look at them, I had no justification whatsoever to repay them the way I did. Where do I start from? I returned to my room on the day I was discharged, fell on my knees, and cried my heart out. How do I fix this? Will I ever get married? Even if I do I have ruined my chances with pregnancy. Jesus Christ!!! Who do I talk to? The world seemed like it would end that day. I wept and wept, “I should have remained in the box and never seen the other side of life”.

Lessons:

  • In life, be satisfied with the much God has allowed you to see. Not everyone has a 20/20 vision.
  • Never desire to have what others have, be satisfied with yours.
  • Refuse to consent to the enticement.
  • The devil never puts a price tag on his exhibited goods but remember you’ll surely pay dearly for any item you buy.

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