It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop (on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather) than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and fault-finding woman. Proverbs 21:9 (AMP)
The scripture is so simplified for any person to understand. But understanding the scripture is different from putting the scripture to work.
The writer of the book of Proverbs is King Solomon and in this verse of the scripture, he gave an image of a married man who would prefer to be exposed to all kinds of weather (summer, spring, autumn and winter) at his rooftop than to live inside with his nagging, quarrelsome and fault-finding wife. A wife who is always carping and never tired.
Even in a friendship that is filled with quarrelling, the party at the receiving end gets fed up and will do all they can to end such friendship. Not to talk about a couple who have been joined together to share their forever life till death.
Marriage is no child’s play and that is why when choosing and accepting your spouse all necessary wisdom needs to be in play. Everything needs to be checked and the accuracy in the line with God’s leading should always tally.
This is so needed because marriage is all about sacrificing, being willing to adjust, trusting, sharing, forgiving, supporting, communicating, misunderstanding to understand, commitment and all these are intended to last a lifetime.
Imagine you accepting to marry someone you cannot live to do all that with, it will definitely lead to constant disagreement in the marriage which will mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sometimes financially break the individuals involved and eventually break the union.
Any spouse who prefers staying outside than coming home is likened to that Proverbs man who finds comfort on his rooftop even during harsh and extreme weather.
Unfortunately, many homes are occupied with carping or violent spouses. And as this continues, for some couples they become so used to it and see it as normal. While for some others, it pushes them into the arms of another giving room for adultery. And another group of couples, it leads them to dissolving the marriage.
And one the reason why such husbands/wives who were once loving become antagonistic is because they are hurting.
Offence occurs in marriage but shouldn’t be intentional. If this offence becomes intentional it can of course damage the relationship. Also when this offence or conflict becomes unresolved and hurts unhealed, these will definitely create a hole in the relationship
These offences most times are a result of lack of ENCOURAGEMENT.
One of the ingredients of intimate relationships in marriage is encouragement.
A marriage where the couples always serve each other a dose of encouragement hardly retains hurt and is free from carping and violence.
How often or when last did you say these simple and magic words to your spouse?
‘thank you, my darling’
‘you’re the best spouse’
‘you are so special and I am so blessed to have you in my world as mine’
‘don’t worry my love, God will see us through this’
There are more ways to show and give encouragement to your spouse by listening, speaking positive words, being empathetic, patient etc.
Are you a nagging spouse, you must be hurting from something your spouse isn’t paying attention to.
- How have you made your spouse listen to you?
- Have you tried another method of communicating to your spouse
- Have you also prayed about it to God for a change of heart and a broad understanding for your spouse?
Are you a spouse finding comfort on the rooftop or in the arms of another? Your home can be restored.
- Do you know Your nagging spouse may be hurting from the pain you caused?
- Have you been calm enough to listen and not judge your spouse?
- Have you been calm and empathetic while listening?
- Have you surrendered all to God in prayer and how often?
There is no comfort on the rooftop. The rooftop exposes you to sickness, sin and death.
Come in and be warm again.
Your home can be redeemed.
