“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop (on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather) than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and fault‑finding woman.”
Proverbs 21:9 (AMP)
This scripture is simple enough for anyone to understand, yet understanding a scripture is different from putting it to work.
King Solomon, the writer of Proverbs, paints a vivid picture of a married man who would rather endure the harshness of every weather (summer, spring, autumn, and winter) on the rooftop than remain inside with a nagging, quarrelsome, fault‑finding wife. A wife who is constantly carping and never tired of contention.
Even friendships filled with quarrelling eventually collapse because the receiving party becomes fed up. How much more a marriage, an eternal covenant meant to be shared “till death do us part.”
Marriage is no child’s play. This is why choosing and accepting a spouse requires wisdom, discernment, and alignment with God’s leading. Everything must be examined, and accuracy must tally with divine direction.
This is necessary because marriage demands sacrifice, adjustment, trust, sharing, forgiveness, support, communication, misunderstanding that leads to understanding, and unwavering commitment. And all these are intended to last a lifetime.
Imagine marrying someone with whom you cannot sustain these virtues. It will inevitably lead to constant disagreement mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes financially breaking the individuals involved, and eventually breaking the union.
Any spouse who prefers staying outside rather than coming home mirrors the man in Proverbs finding comfort on the rooftop even in extreme weather.
Sadly, many homes today are occupied by carping or violent spouses. Some couples become so used to it that they consider it normal. Others are pushed into the arms of another, opening the door to adultery. And for another group, it leads to the dissolution of the marriage.
One reason loving husbands or wives become antagonistic is simple… they are hurting.
Offence occurs in marriage, but it should never be intentional. When offence becomes deliberate, it damages the relationship. And when conflict remains unresolved and hurts remain unhealed, they create a hole in the marriage.
Most offences stem from a lack of ENCOURAGEMENT.
Encouragement is one of the vital ingredients of intimacy in marriage.
A marriage where couples consistently serve each other doses of encouragement rarely retains hurt and is free from carping and violence.
How often or when last did you say these simple, powerful words to your spouse?
– “Thank you, my darling.”
– “You’re the best spouse.”
– “You are so special, and I am blessed to have you as mine.”
– “Don’t worry, my love. God will see us through this.”
Encouragement also comes through listening, speaking positive words, being empathetic, being patient, and showing understanding.
To the Nagging Spouse
You may be hurting from something your spouse has not paid attention to.
But how have you tried to make your spouse listen?
Have you attempted another method of communication?
Have you prayed for a change of heart and deeper understanding?
To the Spouse on the Rooftop or in Another’s Arms
Your home can be restored.
Your nagging spouse may be hurting from a pain you caused.
Have you listened without judging?
Have you listened with calmness and empathy?
Have you surrendered the matter to God and how often?
There is no comfort on the rooftop.
The rooftop exposes you to sickness, sin, and death.
Come inside and be warm again.
Your home can be redeemed.
PRAYER
Heavenly Father, thank You for creating the beautiful institution called Marriage. In this institution, You blessed us with companionship, procreation, and redemption. You are indeed thoughtful.
Father, we are not ignorant of the devices of the enemy, the devil who delights in stealing joy and peace in marriage, killing love and understanding, and destroying the souls of men. But we thank You because his devices will never prosper in our homes.
Dear Father, help us continually partner with You to sustain love, peace, joy, understanding, commitment, encouragement, and progress in our homes. Redeem every home that is sinking. Grant them hearts willing to reconcile, forgive, seek peace, and love again. Heal every hurt and restore overflowing joy.
Through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, Amen.
